Be There to Hear It ...

I was thinking today about my favorite poem, one that I discovered as a teenager but understand (like all things) much better now. When the kids were young, I often quoted the second verse to them when we traveled. (Yes, I quoted poetry to them when we were on the road. "Captive audience", huh? I guess it's no wonder that they hide under CD players now, if they go anywhere with us at all.)

I hadn't thought about it in a long time, and it's amazing how much more pertinent to my life it now seems.


Wait
by Galway Kinnell

Wait, for now.
Distrust everything, if you have to.
But trust the hours. Haven't they
carried you everywhere, up to now?
Personal events will become interesting again.
Hair will become interesting.
Pain will become interesting.
Buds that open out of season will become lovely again.
Second-hand gloves will become lovely again,
their memories are what give them
the need for other hands. And the desolation
of lovers is the same: that enormous emptiness
carved out of such tiny beings as we are
asks to be filled; the need
for the new love is faithfulness to the old.

Wait.
Don't go too early.
You're tired. But everyone's tired.
But no one is tired enough.
Only wait a while and listen.
Music of hair,
Music of pain,
music of looms weaving all our loves again.
Be there to hear it, it will be the only time,
most of all to hear,
the flute of your whole existence,
rehearsed by the sorrows, play itself into total exhaustion.

------------------------

Profound, isn't it? I have always loved it, but "music of hair" and "music of pain" are much more coherent concepts to me now. And "be there to hear it" would make a great motto for my life.

It's EXACTLY why I keep fighting so hard.

Medical Updates:

- My local oncologist is gone and I'm not scheduled to see my new one until August.

- My radiation doctor (who needs to do followups to see if the recent lung radiation treatments were successful) is out of town due to a death in the family.

- My home health services have been discontinued due to my improving health.

- Through the swimming and the pt and the daily exercises, my NIL is gaining strength every day. Here are some examples:

1. I can FINALLY get out of the pool with the cane without a giant ordeal now.
2. I am able to walk a dozen or more steps -- albeit still ugly ones -- on the cane now.
3. I am driving again and can pull my own leg in and out of the van on either side now.
4. Last night, I raised my NIL straight up off of the bed for the first time in more than 2 years.

Thanks for caring!