Mid-December?!?
Incredibly, I find myself in the middle of December. I've been so busy running, shopping, planning, wrapping, baking, writing, organizing -- I guess you could call it "living" -- that time has been flying past me. (Of course, when you move at a turtle's pace like I do, it ALWAYS seems like time and life and the whole wide world is rushing past you on an Amtrak train.) Anyway, I've finished my shopping and I only have a few more cards to send and I definitely need to stop baking RIGHT NOW because all that fudge is just TOO tempting ...
I will meet with the new oncologist one month from today. One month. 31 days. 732 hours until my appointment. I am going to walk around with that unbridled monster wreaking who-knows-what kind of havoc inside of me for 31 days. Will I regret the delay? Have I made a fatal error by taking a break from treatments?
It was the soonest appointment I could get. Apparently, medical professionals like to take holiday breaks, too. I can't blame them. Dealing with cancer day-in and day-out must be a very intense profession. I know it's an intense way of life.
If you've read my blog for a while, you remember that I had this same self-doubt when I took some time off to heal during the summer. In the end, I needed that time to build my immune system for the spinal surgery. I also enjoyed every last moment of those lazy, happy summer days. I do not regret it for one moment, and I refuse to regret this time either -- no matter what the consequences may be for the future.
This IS my life, right here, right now. Who knows about next Christmas? Who knows about tomorrow? Only God, and that's the way it should be. While I pray that He will grant me many more Decembers, right now this is the only one I have. I am going to slow down and savor it like a good piece of fudge -- or hey, maybe WITH a good piece of fudge. :-)
I hope you are also taking the time to enjoy all of the peaceful, lovely, happy things about the Christmas season. I know there is a lot of hectic activity, but the joy is there, too. it may be hidden under 15 unwrapped gifts and a mountain of not-sent-yet Christmas cards, but it's there -- a buried treasure waiting to be discovered. It can't be bought in any store, at any price.
I hope all of you have many magical, peaceful moments this December.
:-) Sharon
I will meet with the new oncologist one month from today. One month. 31 days. 732 hours until my appointment. I am going to walk around with that unbridled monster wreaking who-knows-what kind of havoc inside of me for 31 days. Will I regret the delay? Have I made a fatal error by taking a break from treatments?
It was the soonest appointment I could get. Apparently, medical professionals like to take holiday breaks, too. I can't blame them. Dealing with cancer day-in and day-out must be a very intense profession. I know it's an intense way of life.
If you've read my blog for a while, you remember that I had this same self-doubt when I took some time off to heal during the summer. In the end, I needed that time to build my immune system for the spinal surgery. I also enjoyed every last moment of those lazy, happy summer days. I do not regret it for one moment, and I refuse to regret this time either -- no matter what the consequences may be for the future.
This IS my life, right here, right now. Who knows about next Christmas? Who knows about tomorrow? Only God, and that's the way it should be. While I pray that He will grant me many more Decembers, right now this is the only one I have. I am going to slow down and savor it like a good piece of fudge -- or hey, maybe WITH a good piece of fudge. :-)
I hope you are also taking the time to enjoy all of the peaceful, lovely, happy things about the Christmas season. I know there is a lot of hectic activity, but the joy is there, too. it may be hidden under 15 unwrapped gifts and a mountain of not-sent-yet Christmas cards, but it's there -- a buried treasure waiting to be discovered. It can't be bought in any store, at any price.
I hope all of you have many magical, peaceful moments this December.
:-) Sharon
posted by Sharon | 10:55 PM
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