Striking a Balance
I've been doing a lot of thinking this week about the best way to strike a balance in my life. Granted, things are not normal around here these days, and sometimes I expect to hear Rod Serling's voice coming from my walls, pronouncing, "Sharon Leming doesn't know it, but she's just stepped into The Twilight Zone". (Cue creepy music ...)
Balance is such a critical element of life in so many areas. Faith vs. Fear. Relationships vs. Individual needs. Fighting cancer vs. Enjoying life.
Right now, things are a little overwhelming for me. Physically, I'm very tired, and I'm mentally exhausted. I'm trying to accomplish a pile of mundane tasks that need to get done before I am in the hospital all week (and since I don't know how I will feel when I do get home). But it seems like the more I need to do, the less I am able to get done. I seem to be crippled by the magnitude of all the little things on top of all of the big things right now.
Yes, I need to clean and organize -- but I also need to rest and prepare myself. I need to fight the cancer -- but I also need to enjoy every minute of LIFE while I can. I need to use my energy for the battle -- but I need to be a wife and mother and sister and daughter and friend to those who love me.
How do I reconcile all of this? You might say that I need to slow down, but if I slow down any more Don will have to curl me into a ball and roll me around town. Haha! I just need to calm down, breathe, and live life one day at a time. I know it sounds like a cliche, but for me right now, if more like a mantra. One day. Just one day, Sharon. You can do this. You can do anything for just one day.
I comfort myself with these thoughts. I don't have to plan our entire future or fear the inevitable. I only have to get through one single day -- and this one is ready to be folded like an already-read newspaper and laid aside.
Sweet dreams to us all,
:-) Sharon
Balance is such a critical element of life in so many areas. Faith vs. Fear. Relationships vs. Individual needs. Fighting cancer vs. Enjoying life.
Right now, things are a little overwhelming for me. Physically, I'm very tired, and I'm mentally exhausted. I'm trying to accomplish a pile of mundane tasks that need to get done before I am in the hospital all week (and since I don't know how I will feel when I do get home). But it seems like the more I need to do, the less I am able to get done. I seem to be crippled by the magnitude of all the little things on top of all of the big things right now.
Yes, I need to clean and organize -- but I also need to rest and prepare myself. I need to fight the cancer -- but I also need to enjoy every minute of LIFE while I can. I need to use my energy for the battle -- but I need to be a wife and mother and sister and daughter and friend to those who love me.
How do I reconcile all of this? You might say that I need to slow down, but if I slow down any more Don will have to curl me into a ball and roll me around town. Haha! I just need to calm down, breathe, and live life one day at a time. I know it sounds like a cliche, but for me right now, if more like a mantra. One day. Just one day, Sharon. You can do this. You can do anything for just one day.
I comfort myself with these thoughts. I don't have to plan our entire future or fear the inevitable. I only have to get through one single day -- and this one is ready to be folded like an already-read newspaper and laid aside.
Sweet dreams to us all,
:-) Sharon
posted by Sharon | 11:06 PM
13 Comments:
Sharon,
You're a very strong and intelligent woman, and I really admire that. I came across your blog searching for your son just a few weeks ago. But I've been reading, praying, and enjoying about hearing every single thing that's going on in your life. I've been praying stronger than EVER, and I KNOW you'll always keep faith. I have a strong feeling that you're going to win the battle of dealing with your cancer in the end. I will continue praying for as long as you need the prayers, and you and your family will always be in my thoughts. Take care girl, and keep fighting! God bless you and your family! :D
Peace & Love,
Lilly_
=) Keep believing.
Sharon,I too found you while looking for Josiah,you must be so proud he's so talented and a truly special young man.I see where he gets his writing talent,I started reading your blogs and can't stop!It's almost like reading a novel and I can't wait for the next chapter.I have been going through some medical problems myself and had been feeling a bit sorry for myself until I stumbled upon your website.My problems pale in comparison and as a nurse and a mother I have to say you are truly a remarkable woman,where do you find the strength to deal with all of this and maintain.... AND care for 9 children?Your incredible strength has to be a big factor in your ability to fight this thing for so long and will I have no doubt help you beat it in the end,you go girl,you're my hero!!!!!!!!!I have been a nurse for 21 years and have been truly amazed by the human spirit and the role it plays in healing and fighting disease and you my dear have an incredible human spirit and I can see that in your son as well.You hang in there,I look forward to reading more about you,it's therapuetic for me as I've been unable to work for 9 months and I really miss it and especially my patients.Congrats to Josiah on all his recent and future success and best of luck to you I'll be following your blog.............Donna
Wow, your story is amazing.
Im sorry to admit that is it is 12:30am and I was board and searched up your son Josiah... Sigh you say... well think how I feel im like a creeper now. But your story, I shouldn’t use that should I because its really happening to you, but your writing of your life is amazing. It just like Donna said, your life is like a novel you are a great writer but I guess it cant be that hard that you lived it, but sometimes you just cant find the right words. Kind of like my mini letter, I am writing to you I cannot find the right words or im just not getting out what I want to say. I hope you out grow the cancer and lead a healthy life and a long on at that. Never give up and keep writing these stories I favorite your website and I will read your mini letter and try to comment every second day or so.
Lots of love
Sarah
Sharon,
I can't express to you enough how much admiration I have for you. Not only because of this blog but because of how dignified you were when you said on an interview that you are not only proud of Josiah now but that you've always been proud of him. As a mother, I really thought that was beautiful, basically stating that your pride hasn't changed just because the world has taken notice of him.
My heart is breaking to hear of all that you've been through but you have been blessed by God with an incredible family and an incredible you. I'll always be touched by you and remember you in my prayers.
Love to you,
Allison
Sharon,
Goodness! I totally agree with all that you said. I find that I need to strike a balance in my life and I am not facing a tenth of the distractions that you are currently dealing with. You say that Don will have to roll you around town if you slow down much more...too funny. However, we often are our most overwhelmed while sitting on the couch pondering life, job stresses, my own fighting kids, future, husbands, the 6 & 7 years olds that see snow falling in a first grade classroom window-good luck teaching after that, my non-housebroken dogs.....can you tell the chaos in my life? Ha! My best therapy seems to be a nice salty bag of potato chips! What I am not so eloquently saying is...that I can not fathom your situation, but am wishing you peace, strength, a calming moment in the chaos, and above all else....a successful fight with the chemo. I will check back often with you. Please keep blogging or have someone let us know how you are. You are a cyber-friend and I am thinking of you. You are a strong lady.....Fight! Fight! Fight! (It's been a while since my pep club/cheering days...that's the best I could do!) You missed the failed attempt at a backhand spring followed by a front summie! It was UGLY! Ha ha!
With prayers and strength sent your way. Keep smiling through the tears...sometimes it's the only thing that gets us through.
Sharla
Sharon,
Hi! Just wanted to let you know that your are being thought of. I hope that things are going the best that they can. I am thinking of you and sending prayers your way. Hang in there. You are not alone and many, many people are caring for you.
Sharla
Hey Lady, got news that there's been some complications today. Show them you got alot of fight left in you! Your readers miss you dearly, and want you home. We love you :)
You're an incredibly strong woman and I have so much respect and admiration to you. I heard some bad news today and I wish, with all my heart, that you'll be OK. Don't give up the fight!
Hello Sharon. Found the link to your page through VoteForTheWorst.com of all places. You're an amazing brave lady and an inspiration. I hope nothing but the best for you. I did see on both VFTW and Josiah's MySpace that there were problems, I pray that you pull through okay. God bless you and all your family.
I read today with sadness that there have been some problems with Sharon's chemotherapy. I want you to know that I am thinking of you and your family a lot as they get through this setback. I know that you are a strong and tough lady. My prayers are with you and the entire family. You are loved by those closest to you, but also from people whom you have never met...but feel like they know you.
With love,
Sharla
Guilty, guilty, guilty I am. For I, too, came to your site for Josiah. But wow, what a world I've stumbled into.........
It all started on a normal Tuesday evening. My girls and I were so excited that American Idol was back. It gave cheer to the chilly winter nights and motivation to the kids to finish their homework.
I quickly realized that this year might be different when Simon got up to sweep the floor and was incredibly nice at times I was expecting him to tear someone apart. Had he started on a regime of Zoloft? Maybe this year wouldn't be so interesting........
Then in walked this young man, just out of boyhood, standing proud and confident. He said he was going to sing an original song, "bad idea" is what I said. Within a second I knew it was me who was wrong.
As he started to sing he placed his right hand on his heart and reached out with his other as if he was waving a magic wand out to America. My ears were not as "tuned in" as the judges to pick up an English accent, but what stuck me was his undeniable presence. Yes, even standing there in his baggy yellow dockers, he had cast his spell.
Josiah Leming had started me on a ride that was a huge departure from my everyday life. The more I learned about him, the more I read his lyrics, the more I listened to his searing passion ( and I mean searing ) as he sang, the more my fascination grew. How could someone so young, so outwardly cheerful and full of life, write with such depth and knowledge of life's propensity for both love and despair?
I not only wanted to learn more about him, but I also wanted to help him (little did I know, so did everyone else). I joined his my space, bought all of his music from snocap, twice I might add, ( I wanted it on both of my computers ) and was on the look out for any TV and radio updates. Gratefully his American Idol fame cast him on a road that, when maneuvered right, could lead him to reach his potential, to find the world at his "Fingertips". But something that struck me was his quote from the MTV interview. He said he just hoped his music could help people and if it helped just one person he would be happy. I wondered what he meant by that? Help motivate song writer's to write, help broken heart's to heal, lost souls to be found, inspire dreamers to push for their potential. Sounds simple, I thought. Then all my digging seem to pay off. I found a bit of insight into his thoughts, because I also found you. His motivation for searching for answers. The spirit that drives his search inside his soul, to fight past hands and thoughts that hold him down. His resolve that peace and love are almost always overrun by despair, unless you put up a bitter struggle. You are the driving force that pushes his quest.
That leads me to offer up the idea that the 11th best thing about having Cancer is the gift you have bestowed upon your children.You have taught them so much...
to write with grace and eloquence.
that family is their strength
to speak the truth of their pain and struggle.
to look beyond their fears and go, do it all now.
to fight and to see that as a gift in itself
I believe, through your experience, you have raised children that will go on to lead lives devoted to creating beauty and meaning in a world that is in desperate need. Your thought provoking messages will live through them.
So now I will keep following our dear Josiah on his myspace, but today and every day after I will come here for you. Hopefully to brighten your spirit by letting you know that your son has reached his goal of helping one person through his song, because it is through his story that I found yours. You have inspired me to look beyond myself by seeing you and your resolve to push forward. To look inside myself and be grateful for what I have.
Be better, please be better,
Judy in Santa Cruz
Dear Sharon:
You are indeed an eloquent and poignant writer and also witty. I am so sorry to hear about your set back. Stay as strong as you possibly can and leave it to the Lord. Prayers and good thoughts to you and your family.
~Best and God Bless~
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